Wednesday, December 30, 2015

To Raley, just days before our lives change

My sweet, darling, first-born baby girl,

I was supposed to go to work today. I was sad to have to be away from you for 2 days in a row after spending such a wonderful holiday weekend together. But I got a phone call at 5:30 this morning asking if I wanted to be called off today. Of course my answer was YES and immediately my mind started thinking of the things that we could do together today. 

You slept late this morning - until after 9:30. When I went in to get you you gave me a big hug and wanted to do a puzzle together. Then you picked out a movie to watch (you picked "Princess Aurora"). We watched part of the movie together while you ate breakfast. 

Then you wanted to go play upstairs with your other toys. So that's what we did since today we will do whatever you want to, precious one. We played and played with no TV for a few hours. 

I wanted so badly to take you to the park to play, but it had been raining and was cold and wet. I thought about what we could do together that you would enjoy. We landed on pizza and ice cream.

"That was a big bite!"
So we went to Bridgestreet, ate some pizza at Pieology, then got some ice cream at Maggie Moo's. Daddy even joined us for ice cream! You love looking at the water and throwing in pennies so we did that a few different times. We even walked down to Barnes and Noble and you looked at some books and played with the choo-choo train and the blocks for a little bit.
I am so glad we got the opportunity to spend a special day together. I know that our normal routine is about to be flipped upside down. We talk about Baby Sister alot and I know you are going to be a wonderful, loving, caring big sister. But I'm also worried about making you feel that you are less important than the baby or that your needs don't matter as much.

I hope that you never, ever feel unwanted, unimportant, or unloved. You are more loved than you will ever know. I don't know how it is possible to love another person as much as I love you (although I know I will and I know you will love her too).

The last few weeks have been tough for me, dealing with these mixed emotions of being excited to meet sister, but not wanting to lose what you and I have together. You have been very clingy toward me lately and I have been clingy back. Because I know our "just you and me time" is about to come to an end. So when you say "I want Mommy hold you," then by all means, Mommy is going to hold you. I tend to get upset if someone tries to take our time away from each other and I know I shouldn't but I do. I just want to soak up every minute I can with you and your sweet little heart.
Thank you for such a fun day and I promise this won't be the last one. We will make time to do fun Mommy and Raley things after Audrey gets here too. I promise you that my love and admiration for you will only continue to grow and even though our "normal" is about to change, it will only get better. I love you sweet girl!

Love, Mommy

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